'What I said was the Truth. But as I see now, it was served without compassion.’ She continued, ‘to eat humble pie, in common usage, is to apologize and face humiliation for a serious error,’
I listened, as I have learned, that self-guilt and shame is is a form of punishment for speaking our truth. This is her lesson and I must allow. One of our greatest gifts, the allowance of others to experience and learn...
She reflected, ‘people who have pain they don't know what to do with, may try to hurt you. The lashing out has nothing to do with you personally. Stand with them quietly in the 'I' of the storm.... there are always people who will look for a problem for every solution. I know this because I used to be one of them.’
"Until we are willing to make our own mistakes -- and learn the lessons from our actions therein -- we will continue to find ourselves blaming someone (or something) outside of us for the missteps that we agreed to ." -- Guy Finley
The beginnings of the Lesson, ‘if I am going to tell it like is, I must be willing to be misunderstood. And today I learned my words are as clanging brass if I tell the Truth without compassion.’
My response, was simple, and what I have witnesses, ‘People can also choose to take it, read into it, deny, lie, blame, or act surprised. It's all relative. Einstein was a very wise man. Your truth, as you see it, is that. Your words, as you stated them, gave new clarity, for me, in a situation that I was working through with a client♡’
‘Yes, it's true,’ she continued, ‘perhaps I was too attached to the outcome I wanted, which was to help someone. And Because someone doesn't get it or refuses to understand, this doesn't change the Truth. There were signs that this person didn't actually want help but only someone to listen to them complain and feel sorry for them. I can throw a rope down into the pit but I cannot make them grab it and climb out. I like it that you shared with me a good result of my words. So often we never know any part of the ripple effect.’
To which I gave reflection, ‘WE don't get to choose the outcome. I remember a story that was told to me about a woman who gave to the homeless on the street. Some people were against this. They would say things such as, 'Why do you give to them, when all they are going to do is buy drugs or alcohol. Or they probably won't appreciate it!' To which she responded, 'It's not up to me what they do with it, I have no control over that. It's up to me, my choice, to give. That's between me and God, not what they do with it.' I have never forgotten this.’
Searching within once again, with a rare honesty, Karen spoke, ‘I had tried for many years to console the broken child within me, and didn't have much success. However, once I really got into meditation, I stepped away from the churning of the divided mind. One day I received an idea. I had been seeing fields of energy in the meditations, one particular one was green energy, the color of healing. I wrapped up the child within, in a blanket and laid her in the field. I did this daily for days... not sure how long, but it wasn't too long. I knew she was safe there. And one day I just left her there. This was the way for me.’
Healing transpires when we seek to find the truth rather than the blame. When we choose to find the lesson and the growth. That is my experience. One that I have learned to embrace.
Karen’s thoughts were profound, searching always for the growth.
I have done my fair share of complaining. That's when I didn't know that I was in charge of my perception. That's when I was an unconscious prisoner of a nature that blames everyone and everything outside itself for its predicaments, for the way it feels. It also depends on things outside itself to validate itself, comfort itself and to further perpetuate it.
Honesty & Conscious Awareness. Discover and practice this one thing, just this one thing, and slowly your life will change. I promise. This is the beginning of freedom.
More moments of clarity, ‘Having said all this, let me assure that no one is perfect. These conversations are all lessons. I am learning, and continue daily to learn. We can only learn if we remember to practice. As trite as it may seem, just take a few breaths.
Remember yourself. Come awake. And see the nature that wants you to believe you are a mess, you are hopeless, you are useless, you will never be whole. It tells you lies.
The mind is part of you, but it is not You. The mind is a tool to be used. Don't allow it to use You. Practice becoming aware of the nonsense it presents for you to become involved in. The person seeing the nonsense? That's You. The person who gets to decide whether to buy into the nonsense? That's You.
You are already whole. Peel away the nonsense the mind has been building up and the wholeness will be revealed.
Beautiful & Honest. Rare & Insightful. Searching.
And a piece I just wrote, Karen paused, it's been coming to me for weeks. Now was the time.
Whole Broken bits of glass in the bottom of a pit
At one time I thought I was whole,
I thought I was one
(at a time I do not yet fully remember, I was whole, I was One)
Somehow, I have shattered into infinite and infinitesimal remnants
It seems nothing I do can make them whole again
Nothing I do will bring them together again
bring them to life Please, God. Save me.
"You can save yourself. Let the Light in."
I don't know what that means.
"You will. Be still. Know you are My Child. My Creation. You Are Creation."
I am still. I am quiet. I am looking for You. I see something glint. I feel something stir. The shards are shifting, and I feel pain. Please, take that Light away. Incredibly, I yearn for the Light. Once tasted, it cannot be denied. The Love that is the Light begins the mending Broken bits of glass in the bottom of a pit -- no longer. Now gleaming, now smoothing, ever moving, ever changing. Ceaselessly expanding and contracting, creating, perfecting.
Brilliant as they reflect the Light. The grains of glass, the pit, the fear, the pain, the Light, Beautiful as they move in harmony, as One.
As so ends today’s conversations. Rare, Raw, Insightful, Searching the soul.