Sunday, 31 January 2016

Conversations of the Soul, with Karen~ the Mind of Compassion

The mind of compassion knows no bitterness nor judgment. 
No good nor bad, no right nor wrong, no true nor false. 
Only the wish for all beings to be happy. ~ Guanyin

'I feel exposed. Very little self protection. It is one of the hugest discoveries I have made.'
Karen White-Furtado



Unplugged. Raw. And Alive.  Today is Karen. The spotlight shines upon her Journey. Brightly, surrounded by her peers, and there are many, Karen White-Furtado, many peers that applaud the distance that you have traveled. Bravo. And so she continues to seek and to discover. But mostly... to experience. Life & Love

"While I was in it, experiencing it, I felt like a tempest had beset me. Uncomfortable events and perceptions. My determination and willingness to observe (variable at best) is what carried me to a place that is a space in the spirit where I can grasp some small revelation of my Self. 

...About this compassion thing -- 

it's turning out to be something very different from what I have understood it to be. It's not only a feeling of empathy, or wanting to alleviate the suffering of another, and the other meanings that are rather standard definitions. Compassion for all beings? 

It's sometimes difficult to have an active compassion, even for those I 'perceive' as deserving of compassion. What of those I think don't deserve it? What of those who are violent, heinous criminals, murderers, child molesters, and rapists? The less horrifying end of the scale -- the ones to whom I react with indignation, distaste, jealousy, etc. Some examples - how dare you treat me like that? how dare you talk to me like that? Who do you think you are, being, doing, acting like that? <<<<<< All reactive thoughts to anything that threatens my precious image of myself at the moment.

>>>>> I'm a good person. I don't deserve this or that. I'm kind to others so why am I being treated like this or that? I reached out, so why didn't they reach back? .....on and on. 

I discovered so many levels of it so far that my head is spinning! It is beyond insidious and pervasive. I think there are many sides to this 'thing' called compassion.  

And I think it really must begin with having compassion for myself

For me, this means initially practicing being with, and allowing without reacting to, the unwanted feelings that arise within me in correspondence to events. I believe the beginning of compassion is toleration of the part of the mind that throws out random definitions of events; pre-conditioned thoughts, to get comfortable with being uncomfortable. 

If I get into the story the mind wants to create, I suffer, and suffer unnecessarily for what seems like an eternity, and others suffer as well. 

The necessary suffering of myself, or compassion for myself, is that I see and watch the mind give its negative suggestions, without engaging, without picking them up. THEN, I can realize this immediate negative response to an event is indeed pre-conditioned. And, if I do engage, I can see that my options and possible outcomes are severely limited.  

The mind can, does, and will try very hard to take away my innate free will

In realizing the essential need to have compassion for myself first, and cultivating it as best I can, I then can realize that compassion for others is perhaps tolerating and allowing my own self-image-protection 'thoughts', or negative, fear-mongering 'thoughts' to rise and fall, so that I can begin to live from a place of all humanity's natural potential for goodness -- Spirit or Self with a capital S, instead of only self-mind. An admittedly daunting journey at times! I'm just starting to get my 'footing' in this place called groundlessness ---

the place, for me, that is Spirit. 

Sunday, 24 January 2016

Conversations of the Soul Sunday, the Unwanted Visitor


'I've had an unwanted visitor recently,' Karen began her post. 
 
"Her name is Ms. Guilt. She usually comes a knockin' and as soon as I see her through the peep hole, I engage the trap door on the porch. Ha! So long, bitch! Somehow I left my front door open and she came right in. 

At first I didn't notice what was happening -- just a vague sense of discontent, like a tiny whiff of decay. I started hearing voices, little whispers, nasty hurtful things. I knew where she was -- right in my front room, sitting on my sofa, drinking a beer with lime. A big old smirk on her face. 

I skirted around her for a few days. Then I realized she wasn't leaving any time soon. So, I got myself a beer with lime, momentarily panicked in the kitchen, then marched right into the living room and sat down in front of her.  Damn, she was hideous. And she reeked of death. But I sat there, stared at her, took in all her ugliness, all her pain, and all her silent noise. 

When I finished my beer, I placed it firmly on the table, like a gavel signalling that court was now in session. "OK, so speak," I said in a calm voice. "What exactly do you want from me?"  I braced myself. And then she opened that maw of hers, and out came whispers, the same whispers I had been hearing over the last few days. And more of that raunchy smell. 

I waited. 


Nothing new happened. Just the unintelligible groans and moans and odors of something in its death throes. I started to relax. I didn't move. The maw closed, the smirk was gone, and I glimpsed something different in her eyes. Was that sorrow? Was that a plea for forgiveness? Was that a request for release?  I sighed softly. The monster was only something (someone) who wanted to be seen, who wanted to be brought into my sight, to be acknowledged. To be let out, so she could return to the 'mystic', the great and vast unknown. 


I don't know if she'll return. I told her just before she got up and left, " You don't belong here with me. You are no longer who I am. But, if you come, and you get in, I will see you. However, don't help yourself to the beer."

~~Karen White Furtado. 

Which got me thinking about Karma. Karma was the story of my day. and to me, it seemed fitting with the drama the played itself so brilliantly in Karen's mind. 

I feel that we throw this word 'Karma' around like a loose piece of thread. 'Karma's a bitch.' 'Karma will bite him in the ass,' on and on and on. So when I read this statement, it created quite a stir within.  Most of our messages and reflections of Karma, are really just day to day occurrences and lessons. 

True, this is only my opinion, but one that I am passionate about and upon reading Karen's message, I reflected upon, with hopes of opening a door of forgiveness. Karma is very different than the law of cause and effect, which takes an enormous courage to, first, bear the pain, to learn, to grow, to let go. 


This is Spirituality to me; the Journey, the lessons and the growth.  How others treat me is a reflection of their life circumstances, beliefs, teachings, and experiences.  'His' pain, what he wanted to inflict upon me, is his.' 

How I react, act or respond is a reflection of my life circumstances, beliefs, teachings, and experiences.

We don't all know our Karmic lessons, but they are typically much more monumental than the pettiness that is often tossed around. My understanding of Karma, is about a relationship with another, or others, from past lives, that we have challenged ourselves to see what we may have forced upon another, in another lifetime. For Spiritual Growth & Awareness.

I believe that we have, in this lifetime, in the here and now, all that we need to accomplish what it is that we set out to accomplish. I also believe that forgiveness is at the top of the list and opens the door to so much more. 

Forgive yourself.  Don't condemn yourself to a life of misery or unjust rewards for mistakes or missed judgments. See the lesson. See the gifts that are begin offered and heal. Heal the pain, heal the sorrow; pack up the guilt and blame into a suitcase and send her on her way. Forever. And step into greatness.  It's YOURS.


Sunday, 17 January 2016

Conversations of another kind♡ of the Soul


Such an amazing week!  One filled with so many great lessons and with it, much awareness. What I am most grateful for is the awareness. Preciously this... if you strive to look past the illusion... well wait, step back. 

First, if you choose to know that there is an illusion, is the first step. THEN if you strive to look into and past the illusion. Knowing that there is something very important to learn. To understand that within every single experience lay the opportunity to learn and to grow, and to further your experience. That being, the ultimate lesson of love. 

It did begin prior to last week. I was very confused about several conversations and interactions that had transpired. Batter-Up! That was me, continually challenged and up to bat. Then it came to me. The familiarity. I knew that person! I so recognized this person, as I had lived with that person for so very long. That person was me.  Not is me, but was.

What is so beautiful is what I saw within myself. I saw that I no longer have the 'need' to make my point, or to teach the lesson, or share my understanding, when another is just not ready to learn a lesson. It is also not my business to make them ready.  That time is completely up to them. When the student is ready, the teacher appears.  I get, with a clarity, that the lesson is theirs. Theirs to learn. When they choose to.  I am confident that they will learn the lesson, in their own time. And that it does not matter to me whether or not it is me that teaches the lesson!  That is their joy, their happiness.  I have also learned that when the teacher is ready, the Student appears. And Often they are one in the same.

I am pretty certain that some people think I wake up saying, 'Okay God, what'ya got for me today?' Not so much. really. This week it began with a reply that I sent to a young women in a group that I recently joined. She is struggling with so much at this time and experiencing many difficulties with her family. As a response to her post, my message, which I intended to be supportive and helpful, was,

'Its difficult, and a journey to just do as you are led, but what I so know is that if it comes from the heart rather than the ego, judgements by others no longer matter. This is a process and during this time, be kind, gentle, and compassionate of yourself.  You soon learn that another's opinion of you does not matter.'  

Cool, right? Umm... not so much, her response was surprisingly defensive,

'There is a difference here you seem to be missing. I can accept and allow where my brothers are on their journeys. Yet, Holy Spirit is very clear with me that no one is permitted to judge me for any reason ever.  Not family, friends, co-workers, etc... That is the mistake being made here.  We are allowing and accepting their judgments and opinions. In doing so we are making them true for ourselves. We enact them on ourselves when we do not stand in our own truth'

My immediate reaction was to (as I now see it) respond back, to prove what I had learned, to 'show her' what she did not see. Instead, I stopped, took a breath, and then looked deep within myself and asked myself why? What was my purpose? Upon doing this, I then re-read what she had written, with a new awareness. As I read her response, I sent kind &loving  thoughts back to her. What she cannot see at this time, is that her answer was in what she had written. It is inside her.  So I responded with nothing, just sending her kindness & love. It is her lesson, her experience and when she chooses to learn, this is where she will find the answers. Answers that she already knows. 

For me, for the first time, I was able to separate her pain and my need to reach out to her to teach.  Awareness.

This reminded me so much of an ongoing discussion with my counseling prof., I see now how I must have driven him crazy. Yet, I also now see why he was so kind. He understood. He trusted. That the lesson that I most need to learn, I would experience in my own time. That it was the journey of learning the lesson that was important. Slooooowww again, I know, I know. That was 30 years ago. I understood the context of it, but not fully the content.  

This week, on my facebook page, my daily posts have reflected this.  My posts are chosen and sometimes written ahead of time, which allows me to experience the writing, lesson, and awareness that I myself most need. 

Yesterday, my post was Beyond Illusion. The Butterfly represents the outer, that which is constantly moving & changing;  the Illusion. Behind the Butterfly, is the face of Consciousness, looking within to that which is eternal. The message reminds us of that which is real, is found within. When we focus on externals, we often get caught up in ego and judgment; which keep us trapped in the illusion* old habits, a mechanical, trained mind, of patterns & limiting beliefs.

Let go of the opinionated mind, be silenced, to move within. Then relax into your own deepest truth. Here is where the difference between dreams and reality is already known.

and then today (which was written Wednesday along with yesterday's post)...

The Masterpiece; to harness the energy, the fire, and to use it for Creation rather than destruction. What a gift of awareness for me today!  This brings an understanding of our passions. As we move forward, learning not to repress them; but rather moving with them, allowing them to flourish, without becoming obsessive or out of balance. 

The awareness of this will be sure to bring enrichment.  We each carry a Masterpiece hidden within us. It's You who may be standing in your own way!  It's time to recognize & embrace your passions and to then fully express yourself! Just move aside and the masterpiece will be revealed.  Drop the idea of becoming, because you already are. 

I don't require a constant confirmation that I am a teacher. I did need a reminder that I am constantly a student. AND that this is GOOOD

You are the Masterpiece. You always were <3 

Wednesday, 13 January 2016

The Bossy Counselor

Writer's Block. I have it. The more I try, the more frustrated I become. So I let it go. My writing has always reflected a thought process into what is manifesting in my brain at any present time, and usually in every moment. Right now there is nothing. 

It all began with me having a voice. My own voice. When our voice has been stuffed deep inside of us for a long time, the journey back to finding it, hearing what it sounds like, differentiating it from the other voices in our head, inching it out one word, then thought, at a time, until we are finally comfortable and (yikes!) confident in voicing it.

And for awhile, there can be a fear that this voice just might be stuffed back inside that box!  Because inside that box were often ten, twenty more, voices that want to be recognized and heard.  

I think that's where I am right now. It feels like others are trying hard to rebuild that box that I worked so diligently at tearing down, so that they can jump inside.

I do always try to give consideration & thought to opinions, truths, judgements, experiences, perspectives, and stories, but for me, importantly, my journey is about me; with an awareness of where I am, where I've been, how I got here and where I am going. To then makes choices that reflect my path, lessons, and experiences. Perhaps with a little help from their voice. Perhaps not. That's just my story.  I do know, also, that sometimes I am very slow learner. That's okay. I am in no hurry. 


Which brought me back to what I 'do,' my gift and with it, another side to the story.

For me, it was something that was learned. That we are taught adamantly in counseling. I do understand the concept of it and in fact, I follow most of the other guidelines; but for some reason I can't follow this one... 


Yes... that is me right there, snap dab in the middle... the reason the rules are made. I guess that's why I am always trying to bust them down¡

Some might find it contradictory, I suppose. I do believe that there is a difference between seeking friendly advice and requesting messages and direction from Spirit and the cards.

And so♡ ... this is where the bossy comes in. My bossy.  I am very aware that this is where my problem stems from in regards to counseling. I have to consciously separate the two. The Messages and Advice. 

It's just not that easy. But I am learning, discovering more and more each day. 

So the reason that I am deep in silence, is that I want to hear what my own thoughts feel and sound like again. I want to recognize that they are coming from that pure place and not the past fear, doubt, or judgment that I had come to know. This is only possibly when we become really quiet & silent within❤

That's where I am. Today. 




Sunday, 27 December 2015

Conversations of the Soul, Sunday, with Karen♡ Expect Nothing♡

It's been both a slow, and yet busy week. Conversations were short. I, personally have had a week filled with self contemplation.  Always a lesson that shows and to be seen. Life is like that.

And so she began, 'I'm having difficulty with this today. I've been avoiding thinking about it all week.  I have no idea what to write, yet so many ideas start flooding in when I go to type.  One thing I started read very much like mechanically produced crap.  I'm not sure if I should keep trying, or maybe just let it go for this week?'

That's just the way it is, I thought to myself. We have discovered that our conversations must come from a place of honesty. And with that, I let it go.

But then again, I was not at all surprised that within a few hours I received this message of self awareness and love♡

'Well, true to my usual way, once I got it out that I was having a hard time, the lid came off.'  She began....

I'm learning a very tough, and ongoing lesson --  expect nothing.  Expectations have a real hold on me.

I had no idea until I started paying attention to my reactions to things that did not go the way I had expected.  I didn't even know I expected something, until I didn't get it!

'I have to say here,' she contemplated with the honesty that I have come to know & respect,  'that all the positive vibes out and positive vibes back, all the attract what you think, all that karma stuff about what goes around comes around needs to have a few more discerning look-sees.'

'Don't do good stuff so that good stuff will happen to you, because I'm sure that's not the way it works at all... And I highly suspect I'm not in the minority here.  We'd like to think we give without expecting anything in return, but the fact is we do expect something.  And when we don't get something, anything at all, we feel a bit cheated, we feel a bit discouraged, we feel just a tiny bit offended.  And maybe even a thought or two surfaces that says, "Well, that's the last time I try to help you."

We all get discouraged when we feel neglected or unappreciated, and ignored.  It's a human thing.'

(What i have discovered here & now is a new awareness) ... 'Faith will carry us above this lower nature.  We don't even have to counter these thoughts with positive thoughts.

We just need to let them be what they are --- temptations to get involved in a story that is not even true.  

So, go ahead and feel rejected for a moment, then take a few breaths, and tell yourself, "Oh well.  I will still keep doing and being what I know is the loving and kind thing to do and be."

It might get easier, and it might not.  Keep doing it anyway.
Have a Wonderous New Year.' Karen

This made me smile, as it reflected an alternate conversation I was having with another. This person wrote,

'Simple logic shows that “Love” is always firstly dependent on “Hope” as "choice" because although you may choose to “Love” there is no valid guarantee that love will be returned.'

This, too, implies expectation.  How do my lessons reflect this? A daily challenge of the heart & soul♡

Love does not always depend on hope. Give love unconditionally, not to have it returned, but because it is unlimited. Give it wherever you are, give it anyways and in all ways. Give from the heart and without condition or expectation. Another's ability to receive love does not depend on my ability to give love.

Huh... lives and messages parallel♡

Many blessing of love this week that flow into the New Year♡ 

Sunday, 20 December 2015

Messages & Miracles~ Conversations of the Soul Sunday~ Authentic

And so begins my day♡ truth be told♡ this was a tough week, highs and lows, ups and downs, that began with a most impromptu meeting with a dear friend, followed by an inspirational meditation. The calm and the peace to set the pace.

The next couple of days were as life was supposed to be. You see, a little over 3 months ago, during a meditation class, I received a message from an uncle who had passed a couple years back. The message was 3 months. I understood the message, however the recipient was unexpected. The lesson was one of awareness.

Three months later, yesterday, almost to the day, my aunt's spirit (his wife) left her body to return to the spirit world. When I first received the message, I understood it to be a confirmation that the messages were real.  We had no idea at that time that she was sick. We found out a couple of weeks back. That is when the message began to make sense. What I understand it to mean, now, is a confirmation that the spirit world is real. The messages are a gift and to be embraced. 'This all is the way it is supposed to be.'  And to further celebrate the moving out of ones body and the journey back to the world of pure love, compassion, and joy; sending their spirit off with blessings and love, gratitude and well-wishes, to embark on the next phase of their journey.

And here on earth, to celebrate the gifts that were learned and left behind through our relationship with that person. To celebrate human life.  This is the way it is supposed to Be.  Not with sadness, but joy & love. Life is real. And so is the spirit world. We come here, to earth, for a reason, a commitment, a journey to embark upon, to learn and experience. It's about relationships, not just between you and me, but much broader, and much more committed than most understand.   



That's about where I am there and right on que, Karen sent me a message. The message was not intended to be part of our Sunday's conversation, but what I have learned, what I now know, is that there is a gift to be embraced and a lesson to be learned, and shared. The illusion of separation. We are one.

'Authentic,' she began...

'With me, revelation does not come easy, nor does it come all at once. As I've mentioned, the big wake up moment for me was when I began to realize who I was not. This was life altering for me, because it led and leads me ever onward in the fact that I am not the twisted perceptions of my mind. So, I see I am ending up with a space that is peaceful, the space where the Divine, Sacred, Light, Universal Intelligence etc, dwells. And we all have that Seed within us. By the Grace of God, this Seed within me has been cracked open and there is endless potential. IF I allow it. 

Yet, I have felt a strange yearning. Something that is not coming from my 'mind' but from somewhere within. My Soul? I think so.  

It's like my Soul and the Light finally got into the same room, and now want to merge. 

That's the simplest way I can explain it. At first I thought I was keeping them apart somehow. But I think I just needed to exhaust the joyful tempest that was me for quite some time.... the part of me that was so relieved and happy to be rescued from a whole life of depression and anxiety. I don't think it's unreasonable to be over the moon about this kind of healing. 

So, Spirit starts saying to me, "OK, OK... You're quite welcome. But you do have a personality, an essence. And I made you this way because I desire to experience life through your own unique ways, visions, thoughts, words. Can we get together? Can we be One? I'll wait for you. Sorry about the energy vibration you're feeling, but it's just there to let you know I am here and we need to be One. Let's start Living. Let's do this together. Let US explore everything, hand in hand. Let Me know You, and You will know Me. Let Me experience You, and You will experience Me. I am the Vine and You are the Branch, and together We will Create and experience...." 

Now, I will explore me... the me that is Spirit, Soul, Healing Mind, and Body. 

I've had a few vaguely glimpsed revelations about this. I was just not at all prepared to accept it. And still not so sure, lol! I do know intellectually that the Light loves everything it touches. dark included. And I was very ok with that. Honestly, when I realized I was not my mind and the craziness it puts out sometimes, I was relieved indeed, yet horrified that something inside me would actually do this. I've been trying to avoid the dark side of me, even though I did know that on some level I had to incorporate it into the Love. So, with trembling and a bit of trepidation, I am now going to explore this as best I can. As Spirit keeps showing me, there is nothing to fear...yet I do. Nevertheless, I must keep moving forward. And I must also admit, I find this most fascinating and exciting!'

Raw. Rare. Honest. Brilliant. And so a new journey begins. The illusion becomes clearer. Most days.






 

Sunday, 13 December 2015

Messages & Miracles~ Conversations of the Soul Sunday~ The Lighthouse


To know your soul better, you must leave your ego behind, enter places you never thought possible, and question all that you know; believing, with every step forward, and in each moment of every breath, that there is light shining within you; a light that once lit, will have the ability to create all things possible, and love deeper than ever imagined. A light that will shine brightly forevermore.

And the Lighthouse will guide you. Amid the rain, the winds, and the storms, the Lighthouse stands tall; a Beacon of light, gentle in its offerings, unwavering in its efforts. It knows that it is the light, and that its light will continue to shine. That you will find your way. Its light shines brightly from within. 

And so began a week of lessons; of discovery, of highs and lows. Of light. We are all born of love♡ We are all born of a path in which we most wish to experience greatness of self. Sub-Conscious to Conscious Thought♡ Within Us is the Purest Expression of Self.

'Hi Lori,' she began, 'What an awesome week! I was very unsettled.' ...she continued on...

...'The difference between what was being illuminated by the Light in the dark, and what was actually the Light, became very blurry for me. And I was all but paralyzed. It happened slowly, and one shadow at a time, A significant and valuable lesson -- Be Vigilant. Keep Watch.

Seeking outside approval is one of the myriad unnecessary sufferings we humans get trapped in. We all like to know someone approves of us, or what we've done, and the more approval the better. Who wants to feel that no one approves?? A difficult lesson to fully grasp (and I certainly am just beginning to get this) --

True Self needs no approval

Any time we seek approval, we are not living from True Self. However, one thing I'm sure of is that our lower nature will always keep throwing out 'suggestions' that we do need approval. That ruffled up, fearful, shrinking-violet voice will always speak to us. We must be aware constantly that this voice is NOT our True Voice. This lower nature will try every way to drag us down into believing we cannot, should not, will not, and do not. And only IF someone approves, can we be sure we are 'ok.'

In recognizing, little by little, how insidious this lower nature is within us, we also can begin to realize it is ALL imagination. And it is not to be feared... after all, these suggestions it makes are only thoughts. And we do not have to take the bait. We do, more often than we know, take the bait. Even as I am writing this, that lower nature is saying to me, "Be careful what you put out there. People don't want to see this." And I respond, "No, I'm sure they don't.

But I will put it out there anyway. Because we need to see Truth." I know what approval seeking does to one's life. It sucks it dry. It conjures up the most hideous aspects of imagined fearfulness. Getting out of that pit is not a one-shot deal. It's a daily work. But, as I like to say,  

"There's a rope. Grab it, and climb." We are able to be strong, because we ARE strength.

Anything that tells us we are weak, is lower nature speaking. Choose this day, this hour, this moment, every day, every hour, every moment, whom you will serve,'  Karen

This took us on an entirely seperate and reflective conversation. It's purpose, at the time, unaware, but served our awareness at the root of our conversation.
 
'I remember a lot about how we first connected,' she began, 'it was through the Reiki page I had. Somehow, Facebook decided to remove your page from my page's 'likes'. You noticed this and sent me a personal message. You were so gracious, and you knew we were going to connect further in some way in the future. I remember very clearly thinking "This lady is going to be part of my life". And so it is.'

'Below is part of the message you sent to me regarding the 'unlike' event.... Oh, and apparently I did indeed unlike the page myself... I was throwing a tantrum...'

Dear Karen, 'It seems that I have been led to communicate with you, so, I do so. To be honest, when messages come, I have not found the way, yet, to let the message go until I have communicated it. I guess that's the point! and there is no way to argue with Spirit!  So please, take care, know that you have an amazing gift, one that is most necessary to the rest of the world as it is to yourself. You are loved and supported by the Universe.'  and with this, a friendship so began. One that is open, inspiring, and allowing.

Over the past couple of days we have talked much about 'Doing from the heart' and how it fits in with Truth.' We talked on further until, finally, a cord of awareness was struck. Truth

'What I am taking from your wisdom on doing from the heart is this.' she reflected, 'I will not be the lighthouse running around shining the Light in eyes that are closed. I will instead be the Lighthouse, sturdy and grounded, for the Light, And eyes that want to see will see. I need do nothing.' 

There, there it is Karen.

... and so the light indeed does shine brightly from within Karen. You are the Light, reflective of the Lighthouse. You are the Love. 

Sunday, 6 December 2015

Messages & Miracles~ Conversations of the Soul Sunday~ Will I be my Self?

'Will I be my Self?' That's how the conversation began.  

Which led me to ponder and ask a question, first to myself, then to everyone this week prior to meditation, and finally to Karen. Our HIGHER Self. When we talk about are Higher Self, what does this mean to you? 

I wondered because, we are so often these days, told to ask 'our higher self' or do 'for the greatest good of self,' and if we don't know 'who' or 'what' this is, then how can we ever listen to it? 

We are taught values and beliefs and then accept them without even really understanding what they mean. It's time to really, truly, step outside of this box; push down the barriers and question what you think you 'know.' Why? Because we have played 'follow the blind leader' for far too long. It's time to colour outside the lines, because really, there are no lines. 


Karen was the first person to answer with such an awareness. How did we get on the same page, without even knowing it? From that moment, I knew that today's conversation would be special. She responded,

"To me Higher Self is the Life of God's Son, God's Creation and Co-Creator. We are all created to be Vessels for this Life of God. When we start to awaken to what is not True Self (the divided mind - want/don't want) we begin to realize we are the Observer, and the ideas of the Son can be known and honored and expressed through us. Little by little. Basically, though, we fool ourselves into thinking we are awake, yet 99% of the time we are not."

Such a beautiful response. An awakening...  

Which leads me back to our original conversation. She began with a quote. What I became acutely aware of as I read her quote, was that she truly understood the truth behind what was being said.

“The past has no power to stop you from being present now. Only your grievance about the past can do that. What is grievance? The baggage of old thought and emotion.” ~ Lao Tzu

She sought to answer to last week's question of  "Will I be my Self? Or will I be who they want me to be? Again." 


"I am learning that I AM my Self. Being anything other than my true Identity is a disturbance, and therefore not Me. Oh sure, I can go ahead and fall back to sleep, and often do, getting caught up in the illusions of past or future. But I recognize this more and more often now. And I come awake, as best I can, as best I know how to right now. And there is the Peace that I AM. 

Practicing being awake, aware, present, however you wish to call it, reveals who we truly are. And in those revelations we find that we are home already, loved already, whole already. Whatever we were seeking is truly seeking us. We only need to observe that we are not our mind, and in that observation comes the unveiling of the mystery. Reconciliation, completion. Home. Safe. Loved, wanted, needed, adored, enough, holy, creators, lovers, light and dark, all that is and was and will be. Suspended briefly in this path called time, which flows through us."

And with that, my answer is simple. The results more powerful. Your Higher Self. That's YOU.
YOU minus the fear, the doubt, the worry, and the blame. YOU outside of the consciousness, the reactive, the teachings, the safety. YOU. Just YOU, pure and loving.





Sunday, 29 November 2015

Messages & Miracles~ Conversations of the Soul, Sunday~ Just like that....

If I think back, I don't even remember how we met.  I do know that it really makes no difference at all. What I am aware of is that right from the very beginning there was a connection, a very deep one. One that carries the vibration of love, gentleness, respect, and compassion. 

My week began like every other week. It quickly became Wednesday, when suddenly, and such as life gives us, all changed. When life's major events brings change, we jump aboard a bus and see the world through different eyes. Always a reminder of how precious life is and that we come here to fulfill a contract, with ourselves, our soul's most deepest desires. 

And too on this day, Karen delved deep within and sent a message,

'Hi Lori, this is what is going on with me this week. It seems to be a clearer understanding of where I have been. I've never been able to express it so clearly.

As a child I learned to speak, walk and be rather independent very early. I also learned to read before kindergarten, my grandmother taught me because I insisted. I had a keen sense of observation, and was very sensitive to Nature, and to people around me. I was never good at small talk, or most childhood things. I wanted to know about the stuff that wasn't obvious, and I wanted to discuss it. 


I desired above all else to voice my observations and engage in conversation. Other children thought I was weird, and adults thought I was disturbed. (Not my grandmother, though. She cherished me) Well meaning adults informed me that people didn't like that kind of conversation. So I pretty much stopped saying what was in my heart. Soon, I was informed that I wasn't to be shy either, I was to get in on life, do things other kids did, be happy.' 

Somehow I got the message that I wasn't to be who I was, and being who I was not was also unacceptable. So I created a persona.  It worked fairly well for others. I didn't ruffle any feathers, didn't say things that made people uncomfortable, tried to be like the rest of the people my age. 

No surprise that didn't really work for me, though. 

I've felt partially comfortable with very few people since those days. I've tried to maintain the 'acceptable' persona. For many years this persona has been crumbling, as the remnants of a beautiful soul was sighing its last breaths, struggling to come alive again. 


This year, it was on a final mission -- "let me live, or let me die." 

That time was the greatest disturbance I have ever experienced. I am grateful to have found my Light within, my Soul, my Voice. 

Yet somehow I feel I am receiving the same messages as before -- "Don't talk about this or that. It makes us uncomfortable" And once I again I find myself in the memories of childhood, scolded, shunned, rejected. And the struggle is on. 

The question I keep asking myself is this " Will I be my Self? Or will I be who they want me to be? Again."  


*****
Karen, you are beautiful. This is so often the journey of many, the struggles, and the sense. What I have learned, what I have experienced, is that compassion, kindness, respect, and honesty, must come together with the the Loving Allowance. of all to be. in their own place and time. That's IT.

There are no exceptions. We cannot walk another's path. As much as we see them hurting, flayalling, crying, and/ or acting out, all that we can do is show with love. We can offer guidance or experience, but it is completely up to them to take their lead. When they decide its the right time.

To do this without enabling and being true to ourself, is conscious awareness; thought, action, and deed. You can choose to walk away. Choose to do so to be true to who you are. Choose to be there for them when they have reached the moment of self awareness for themselves. 

People around us can be frustrating. If you choose them to be. What I have learned is that if you can't change it, let it go. Really. Breathe in. Deeply. Accept that there was a gift or a lesson. And Bless them with all the love that you have (cause love is endless!). and Just let it go. It is that simple. Walk forward whole.

It's only made more complicated because we allow it to be. ....in their own place and time.. it's their journey. Journal your feelings, if you have to, to understand yourself better, process in all ways you can - vent the anger, frustration or whatever you need to do to keep moving forward. And be open to new relationships and friendships. Sometimes these periods are trans-formative in amazingly good ways that we can't always see in the moment as it happens. 

It hurts until we realize that it is not up to us. And that it is not a fault within us. A fault of who we are, the true You. They may be lashing out because they see that you are being who you are and they still a caged bird, perhaps they didn't even know it. They see and suddenly know that they, too, want to be who they truly are. They will get there, but not by you changing. But by you loving. and perhaps letting go. for now.

What I have learned, is that there is so much that I do not know, but there is so much more that I do know. And there is always room to know more, learn more, discover, take a chance on, and to love... always much more love to be had. Focus on what you can do, where you can make a difference, and always, from that place deep within your heart.

The only person whom others can truly Love is the true you. Goes for them too.

    


Sunday, 22 November 2015

Messages & Miracles~ Conversations of the Soul, Sunday~ Humble Pie

Shoveling in the humble pie today,’ she began.

'What I said was the Truth. But as I see now, it was served without compassion.’ She continued, ‘to eat humble pie, in common usage, is to apologize and face humiliation for a serious error,’

I listened, as I have learned, that self-guilt and shame is is a form of punishment for speaking our truth. This is her lesson and I must allow. One of our greatest gifts, the allowance of others to experience and learn...

She reflected, ‘people who have pain they don't know what to do with, may try to hurt you. The lashing out has nothing to do with you personally. Stand with them quietly in the 'I' of the storm.... there are always people who will look for a problem for every solution. I know this because I used to be one of them.’

Light bulb.

"Until we are willing to make our own mistakes -- and learn the lessons from our actions therein -- we will continue to find ourselves blaming someone (or something) outside of us for the missteps that we agreed to ."  -- Guy Finley

The beginnings of the Lesson, ‘if I am going to tell it like is, I must be willing to be misunderstood. And today I learned my words are as clanging brass if I tell the Truth without compassion.’

My response, was simple, and what I have witnesses, ‘People can also choose to take it, read into it, deny, lie, blame, or act surprised. It's all relative. Einstein was a very wise man. Your truth, as you see it, is that. Your words, as you stated them, gave new clarity, for me, in a situation that I was working through with a client♡’

‘Yes, it's true,’  she continued, ‘perhaps I was too attached to the outcome I wanted, which was to help someone. And Because someone doesn't get it or refuses to understand, this doesn't change the Truth. There were signs that this person didn't actually want help but only someone to listen to them complain and feel sorry for them. I can throw a rope down into the pit but I cannot make them grab it and climb out. I like it that you shared with me a good result of my words. So often we never know any part of the ripple effect.’

To which I gave reflection, ‘WE don't get to choose the outcome. I remember a story that was told to me about a woman who gave to the homeless on the street. Some people were against this. They would say things such as, 'Why do you give to them, when all they are going to do is buy drugs or alcohol. Or they probably won't appreciate it!' To which she responded, 'It's not up to me what they do with it, I have no control over that. It's up to me, my choice, to give. That's between me and God, not what they do with it.' I have never forgotten this.’

Searching within once again, with a rare honesty, Karen spoke, ‘I had tried for many years to console the broken child within me, and didn't have much success. However, once I really got into meditation, I stepped away from the churning of the divided mind. One day I received an idea. I had been seeing fields of energy in the meditations, one particular one was green energy, the color of healing. I wrapped up the child within, in a blanket and laid her in the field.  I did this daily for days... not sure how long, but it wasn't too long. I knew she was safe there. And one day I just left her there. This was the way for me.’

Healing transpires when we seek to find the truth rather than the blame. When we choose to find the lesson and the growth. That is my experience. One that I have learned to embrace.

Karen’s thoughts were profound, searching always for the growth.

I have done my fair share of complaining. That's when I didn't know that I was in charge of my perception. That's when I was an unconscious prisoner of a nature that blames everyone and everything outside itself for its predicaments, for the way it feels. It also depends on things outside itself to validate itself, comfort itself and to further perpetuate it.

Honesty & Conscious Awareness. Discover and practice this one thing, just this one thing, and slowly your life will change. I promise. This is the beginning of freedom.

More moments of clarity, ‘Having said all this, let me assure that no one is perfect. These conversations  are all lessons.  I am learning, and continue daily to learn. We can only learn if we remember to practice. As trite as it may seem, just take a few breaths.

Remember yourself. Come awake. And see the nature that wants you to believe you are a mess, you are hopeless, you are useless, you will never be whole. It tells you lies.

The mind is part of you, but it is not You. The mind is a tool to be used. Don't allow it to use You. Practice becoming aware of the nonsense it presents for you to become involved in. The person seeing the nonsense? That's You. The person who gets to decide whether to buy into the nonsense? That's You.

You are already whole. Peel away the nonsense the mind has been building up and the wholeness will be revealed.

Beautiful & Honest. Rare & Insightful. Searching.

And a piece I just wrote, Karen paused, it's been coming to me for weeks. Now was the time.

Whole Broken bits of glass in the bottom of a pit
At one time I thought I was whole,
I thought I was one
(at a time I do not yet fully remember, I was whole, I was One)
Somehow, I have shattered into infinite and infinitesimal remnants
It seems nothing I do can make them whole again
Nothing I do will bring them together again
bring them to life Please, God. Save me.

"You can save yourself. Let the Light in."

I don't know what that means.

"You will. Be still. Know you are My Child. My Creation. You Are Creation."

I am still. I am quiet. I am looking for You. I see something glint.  I feel something stir. The shards are shifting, and I feel pain.  Please, take that Light away. Incredibly, I yearn for the Light.  Once tasted, it cannot be denied.  The Love that is the Light begins the mending Broken bits of glass in the bottom of a pit -- no longer.  Now gleaming, now smoothing, ever moving, ever changing.  Ceaselessly expanding and contracting, creating, perfecting.
 Brilliant as they reflect the Light.  The grains of glass, the pit, the fear, the pain, the Light, Beautiful as they move in harmony, as One.

As so ends today’s conversations. Rare, Raw, Insightful, Searching the soul.